Preoccupied with the vision

seek forst his kingdomI have just finished reading another great book Hosting the Presence by Bill Johnson. In the book Bill writes Don’t get so preoccupied with the vision for your life that you miss the process entirely. Over the past few weeks I have been so preoccupied with the vision for my life that I am missing out on the process that I need to go through to get there.

So much of my effort has been thinking about all the possibilities for us after our time here at bible school. I have been looking for signs and listening for words about what he wants us to do and feeling frustrated when nothing was coming. So I started dreaming up my own plans but soon realized that was not the answer either (I wrote about that realization here).

I was definitely preoccupied with the vision that I was missing out on the process. The process of drawing close to God, to knowing him better, to having him living inside of me and resting upon me. It is through this process that I become so close to God that I can feel and hear his heartbeat. That I can feel his love for this world and hear what he wants me to do with it.

So there will be less planning and more listening, less focusing on the end goal and more focusing on the steps that I am taking to get there and more of me drawing closer to God than pulling away and trying to do everything in my own strength. I have so much to learn but it is a wonderful learning journey to be on.

Living in response to the Father not fear


I am guilty of praying out of fear. I never really thought about it much until recently when Benni Johnson talked about it briefly one Sunday morning at church.

So often I find myself praying about a situation from the stand point of fear. I would be panicked, pleading for the Lord to intervene, to make a clear way through the situation, to provide answers, no God this cant be happening. The enemy would strike and I would react. That is praying from fear.

Benni suggested (this is a very rough paraphrase of course) that instead of reacting and praying out of fear you should ask God what He is doing through this situation and then pray according to His response, align yourself with His plan, His heart.

Instead of reacting to what the enemy is doing I must instead react to what the Father is doing. Jesus is the perfect example of this, He lived in response to the Father. When we respond to something it is either from fear or love. Jesus did everything from love and I am trying my very hardest to do the same.

Prayer is the ultimate expression of partnership with God. It is the adventure of discovering and praying His heart. So many spend their life praying to God when they could be praying with God. This partnership, with its answers and breakthroughs is supposed to be the source of our fullness of joy. Bill Johnson – Hosting the presence


There will be so much more for you than what you can put in the box

God has more for you than what you can put in a box

Do you ever find yourself trying to figure it all out?

In your mind you put together elaborate plans of how everything you are hoping for and dreaming of can come together.

You package your plan up in a neat little box and then bring it before God and say “look, here is how everything can come together. Please bless my wonderful ideas and bring them to fruition.”

Sound familiar?

I do this all the time and I am trying my very hardest not to do it this time. You see God is a much better planner, dreamer and designer than me. The things he has for me are far greater than anything that I can present to him in a neat little box.

God has unending and unfolding promises. Some of those promises are in eternity, his plans unfold forever. He has far greater things for me than anything I can dream up. I am {trying my best at} abandoning my neat little box and coming to him with expectancy, saying God I can not wait to see what you are going to do with me.

Experiencing Fathers Embrace

i call him daddy now

I have just finished reading a wonderful book titled Experiencing Fathers Embrace written by Jack Frost. It is one of the books that Greg is reading for school and he gave it to me to read also. The book was amazing, it was just what I needed to read at this point in my journey. I found I was searching for a deeper relationship with God, to know and love Him just like a Father and this book is really helping me in that process.

There are many good things written in this book and I encourage you to read them for yourself, but one thing that has remained with me is this…

Jack Frost writes “What reveals a genuine love for God is my ability to convince my family and others of my love for them. The bible tells us that we can not say we love God if we do not love each other…”

It is simple really. We need to love each other more, and not just the easy to love people but everybody that comes across our path. We were created to receive and express love. Love is about who we are. We can love because He first loved us. We need to be giving love away, to receive the Fathers love and then give it away to the next person we meet.

It seems easy enough but sometimes I find this challenging. Not because people are unlovable but just simply because of my own fears. I love my friends and family well but I struggle with other people. I find it difficult to talk to people that I do not know or do not know very well. I am an introvert and talking to strangers is scary! But I am being challenged to step out of my comfort zone and after reading this book I am now in a better position to see and receive Gods love being poured into me. I am getting into a better position to receive and then give His love away.

The community of Jesus followers here in Redding California are very good at doing this. Their outpouring of love to their community is amazing to see and be apart of. They are such a great example. You can just feel it as you go about daily life, there is just something different going on here and it is the Fathers love being poured out, unconditionally and without measure.

Art class ::: a lesson on bravery

I have now completed the prophetic art class that I was taking. It was so much fun and I learned a lot. I am so glad that I stepped out of my comfort zone and signed up for it.

On Sunday we had our last class and we presented a final piece of art. I was so nervous about showing my work.  I am not as technically good as the other students in the class and I really struggled with confidence about my piece but the class has taught me that I should not be working to please others, I should enjoy the creative and spiritual process and work to convey a message that God has given me or placed on my heart.

I spent a very long time working on a picture for the final art show and I just was not happy with it. One evening I was feeling so frustrated with it that I put it aside and started creating another piece of art. I was just enjoying painting, working with the water colours and listening to music and I created a new piece of art in about ten minutes. When I finished I heard God whisper to me “this is it, your final piece for the show”. I looked at the picture I had just completed, it wasn’t perfect, there were drip marks and splash marks, the colours had run together and I had not really paid too much attention to the things that make a great masterpiece like placement, light source, where the eye travels to etc but I had really enjoyed the experience and I had captured the message that God had placed on my heart, and who am I to argue with the master creator himself!

The message was that He has made me brave. I can feel him standing with me and strengthening me. He has led me here to this place, to be doing what I am doing and he is getting me ready to do great things in his name. I can do all these things through Christ who strengthens me. Sometimes I do not feel brave at all and I need to remind myself that I am because He is.

I felt very brave to submit such an imperfect piece of art and I received some lovely feedback on it. So here it is…

you make me brave artA feathered head dress for a princess warrior.

I will probably need to keep reminding myself that I am brave and that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me so this piece of art shall be displayed on the wall to remind me each day.

The adventures of our little family

IMG_8514There have been some changes going on here on my Blessed Meek blog. I have started writing about our family adventures over at the new place Blessed Meek, the adventures of our little family.

You can head on over there and sign up to follow it by email or you can find the link to it on the side bar to the right.

Blessed will be where I share my writings with you as I journey through this blessed life. The journey of becoming more meek. To becoming more humble, more righteous, more loving, more gentle, more patient and to becoming more of the woman who God created me to be, Meek.

A message…

youaretrulylovedI had a dream a few weeks ago and it has been one that has stuck with me and I feel that I must share it with you. My dream wasn’t directly for me (even though the message has greatly touched my heart also), yes I saw it but it was like a message that I needed to pass on. See, God likes to remind us that we are the body of Christ and we all need each other and sometimes He will give a message to the arm which is intended for the leg to hear so He gives it to the arm to pass on to the leg. We need each other.

The message was intended for a friend of mine, lets call her Sally. I saw Sally in my dream and she was standing in front of a white wall that stretched on into the distance. When you looked left and right you could not see the end of it, it seemed to stretch on forever. Written on the wall in black writing were words. The words covered every square inch of the wall that stretched on forever. They were written everywhere, there were so many of them that sometimes it was hard to read them. The words were written for Sally. They were words that described who she is, her character, how she was designed. They were words like loved, brave, beautiful, precious, magnificent, wanted, worthy, capable, trustworthy, strong, courageous… the beautiful words and phrases went on and on. They were written there by God just for Sally. To show her, remind her of all the things that she is. Sally began to cry, she didn’t know or she had forgotten how special, how loved she truly was.

I then saw Sally sitting upon a throne and she was surrounded by angels. She was in awe of them and they were in awe of her. They were lavishing gifts upon her, there were so many of them and they were piling up all around her. They were from the most high King, for His princess. Sally began to cry and shake her head and the words that escaped her mouth was that she didn’t know. She didn’t know how much He loved her, how beautiful she was, how precious, worthy, talented, creative, loved and how special she truly was. He was sending me the message to remind Sally of these things.

To remind us all that we are truly loved.